Dear Mom,
It has just been over six months. I think I am coming to a place of acceptance -- that does not mean I am not still sad and that I don't still have bad days, I do. It just means I can be more rational about the hurt and the pain, which is a good thing I guess. I am still having a hard time focusing on everything so i end up doing everything without focus, which makes nothing the way I want. I will have to figure this out because it makes me unhappy. I am trying to think about the things you wanted for me and to determine how best I can steer my life in a way you would have been proud of. Happiness, joy, love, comfort, success -- all landmarks that I can, and should, steer my life toward. I need to make a plan and redefine what I want and set some goals and consciously work toward them everyday, because what I have been doing since you passed is anything but conscious.
I feel like I am ready to use my pain and sadness in a more positive way -- like you would want me to. Now I just need to get off my ass and do it.
I sure do miss you mom.
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